


Black Box Open

by solonggaybowser



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Swearing, hyperliberal use of commas, sadnerd niceboy romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-06-02 18:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6577429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solonggaybowser/pseuds/solonggaybowser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For his whole life, Sebastian has been perfectly happy (he hasn't) being a shy, quiet, solitary kind of guy. People got the idea and left him alone, and that's just fine (it's not). So when Harvey wants to talk to him, like, really talk, well... what's that about, huh?</p><p>(Tags and rating will change as the fic progresses.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thursday, Summer 4

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all, i've got Baby's First Fanfic right here, and consequently it's pretty rough at the start (and, well, throughout actually) but i think its heart is about in the right place :v
> 
> for some reason i've decided to ship what seem to be the most popular bachelor (which is reasonable) (SHANE AIN'T HERE YET) and the least (literally a crime, please love harvey). "why?" you may ask, nay, DEMAND. i smile serenely and close the door in your face.
> 
> there will be spoilers for sebastian and harvey's heart events!!! and possibly other events too idk yet. but i'll do my very best to warn for them in the pre-chapter notes!

_What if you just... drove away right now? And never came back?_

It was an overdramatic thought, Sebastian knew, but one he kept coming back to. Every time he had to confront one of his many, many personal hells, he preoccupied himself with the thought of running. Escape. He wondered if he could ever actually bring himself to do it, but regardless, just having that option comforted him in some twisted way. _You could disappear forever. No one would care. You could do it any time._

On this too-bright summer day, his big problem was a doctor's appointment: a simple thing, yes, not even one that demanded much effort on his part. Still, it meant some invasion of personal space, some judgment of his personal character, both of which he loathed in any amount. He stood in front of the clinic and longed to ride his motorcycle into the city, with this dump of a town (as well as, he'd prefer, the striking glow of the sunset) behind him.

But Sebastian felt compelled, by either existential inertia or that it was too damn hot outside, to open that glass door and shamble in. From the front desk, Maru greeted him cheerfully as he dropped into a chair. "Hi Seb! I've got everything ready for you, so just wait until Dr. Harvey calls you in, okay?" He nodded extremely slightly, his usual form of communication with his half-sister, as well as everyone else.

The minutes passed by in agony as he tried, with quiet, rising panic, to disintegrate completely. Tragically, the door further in opened before he made any headway on the problem. "Sebastian?" Harvey called out pleasantly. "Come in, please."

Sebastian rose from his seat—to him, excruciatingly slowly, as all things had to be in a doctor's office—and trudged towards the door. Maru whispered to him urgently, "Please be nice to my boss, Seb." He gave the world's slightest nod again despite having absolutely no intention of doing anything of the sort, so he also glanced back in her direction, which was his way of saying, "I'm sorry I lied. I'm not sorry I'm a real piece of shit."

They entered the examination room. Harvey opened with the typical "How are you doing, Sebastian?" and instantly Sebastian delegated control of his mouth to a much more subconscious part of his mind because he could no longer be arsed to do it himself. "I'd rather take a nap," he sassed, but barely.

To Sebastian's mild surprise, Harvey chuckled gently. "I don't blame you. The early afternoon's prime napping hours, you know." Sebastian felt just the tiniest sliver of relief that Harvey's knickers went untwisted, yet he couldn't help but also feel annoyed at exactly that. Harvey continued, "I'll try to make it quick. You'll be home in no time, all right?"

It wasn't especially all right, but Sebastian miraculously scraped up the energy needed to persevere. He idly wondered when the day would come that he'd find himself completely spent and his wretched body would finally be allowed to turn to dust. Perhaps, ironically, holding onto this hope is what continues to keep him afloat through every trial that comes his way. Alas.

At long last, Harvey declared, "That's all for today, Sebastian!"

Caught off guard, Sebastian asked, "That's really it?" which then he added to the long, long list of things he said and immediately regretted saying.

Harvey hesitated. "Well, I suppose... I ought to mention it would be in your best interest to give up smoking."

At this, Sebastian inhaled sharply. _Fuck,_ he thought, _why didn't you just leave it alone. Why didn't he just let it go._ Direly unaware of Sebastian's silent anguish, Harvey continued, "And..."

_And what! Why isn't he fucking letting it go!!_

"Your stress is a bit too high to be healthy. Well, I say 'a bit', but—"

"Fuck off! I don't need to hear a damn thing from you!" shouted Sebastian, as loud as he could bother; it wasn't actually that loud, but coming from such a reticent young man, it startled poor Harvey anyway. And Sebastian would have had a few more choice words for his doctor, but upon seeing the shock and helplessness on Harvey's face, the fire of Sebastian's indignation burned itself out, leaving anxiety and regret to fill the vacuum. _What the fuck's your problem?_ His vision blurred and he bit his lower lip. _You asked for this. You_ literally _asked. Don't you yell at him, you little shit._ A shadow of an apology started to form in his throat but never made it out: his legs took charge before his voice could, and he was out the door.

"Seb?! Seb!" Maru called after him, but he was fucking gone. "Damn it," she said as a frowning Harvey appeared in the waiting room. "I'm so sorry, Dr. Harvey, my—"

"No, no. Please don't feel you must apologize for your brother," said Harvey, looking mournfully out the front door. "And I'm the one who's upset him anyway."

"I think... I think that's just how he is, sometimes."

Harvey sighed and pushed his glasses up. "Even so..." he began, but reconsidered. "Why don't you go back to work, Maru. Forget about this." He paused. "I'm not even hurt. Honestly."

Maru pondered whether to believe him. She turned around to reply, but he had already left.


	2. Sunday, Summer 7

Sebastian lay in bed, wondering what the fuck he was going to do today. _Probably nothing. Same as ever._ He rolled over to look at the clock. Nearly 10. _Well, mix it up a little. Get up early for once._ Though he did stand up and get dressed, it took enough effort that he wondered if he should have just stayed in bed. Still, he was on a roll; why turn back now? He almost made it all the way to his computer when Robin opened the door. "Oh! Up already, Sebby?" she said. "Well, good morning! I was just going to leave this on your desk."

She held up an envelope, at which Sebastian furrowed his brow. He couldn't remember the last time he'd received mail. "What's this about?" he mumbled.

"It's from Dr. Harvey," Robin said, and frowned. "Was there a problem?"

Sebastian's blood froze solid. "I'm, um, well, let me see it," he said, almost sputtered. He took the letter and a deep breath. "Um, thanks mom."

"Of course, sweetie. Let me know if you need anything." With that, Robin left, having some rudiments of discretion, thank fucking Yoba. Sebastian stood transfixed for some time, attempting to sort out how he felt about this mysterious letter. His curiosity eventually won out, but barely; with numb hands, he opened the letter.

_Dear Sebastian,_

_First of all, I'm terribly sorry I've offended you during our appointment. In retrospect, it was obvious that something was wrong—that I did something wrong. It must be truly exhausting, everyone complaining about the same old things, over and over again, demanding you change them when it feels entirely impossible. I'm sorry I did that to you._

_I also wanted to reach out to you, Sebastian. I'm no therapist; let me make that clear. But I believe I can still help you, if you would like, as a friend. I'd be happy to talk with you, listen to you, or whatever you're comfortable with. Come by the clinic outside of regular hours—before 9 AM or after 3 PM—and if you see me inside, go ahead and give the door a knock. I'll let you in._

_Yours,_   
_Harvey —_

The letter fell from Sebastian's hands as he shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. A centrifuge of emotions started up inside him; he hated and feared all of them. He flopped back onto bed, clearly where he should have just stayed from the beginning.


	3. Wednesday, Fall 3 (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments + kudos so far!! i'm a lil too shy to reply to comments but i promise your support gives me strength...! here's just another small chapter today.

Sebastian couldn't believe it took him this long, but also he could absolutely believe it.

Harvey's letter had come as a bit of a shock to poor Sebastian, and his first instinct was to ignore it, vigorously and desperately. After taking a nap and verifying the letter wasn't the product of an early-morning fever dream, he shoved it into the trash abyss of his desk drawer (easy), tried to never think about it again (literally impossible), and avoid Harvey at all costs (feasible but stressful). For the most part, that last strategy worked out by itself: Harvey rarely went up the mountain and Sebastian rarely entered town. Saturdays—when Sebastian would spend most of the day with his buddy Sam in town—were particularly nerve-wracking until he caught on that Harvey never seemed to be around then.

It was the festivals that really twisted his guts. As the Luau approached, he agonized over whether to skip it altogether; he could hardly stand being anywhere near Harvey's field of vision, and it wasn't like roasting in the harsh summer sun surrounded by literally the whole town was going to be a splendid time anyway. On the other hand, his family and Sam and Abigail would probably grill him about his absence, and it was always hard to turn down all that free food. He decided on feigning sickness to get out of it, but on the day of the Luau, he realized he had made a grave oversight when Robin suggested maybe he ought to see Dr. Harvey if he's feeling ill. Miraculously, he managed to salvage the situation by saying, come on, it's not serious, and we don't want to keep the doctor from having a nice time at the festival, do we. Robin considered this and told her son to please take care and left. (He was proud of that incredible save for a while and hated that he couldn't tell anyone about it.)

As for the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, well, even under these circumstances there was no question. It was probably the most Sebastian event of the year, even more than Spirit's Eve: a cool night on the brink of autumn, standing on the docks with the ocean stretching out to infinity, ominously dark until the jellyfish approached. They reminded him of the twinkling Zuzu City skyline, beacons shining through the night, full of hope and possibility but ever out of reach. The sound of creaking wood just behind him wrenched him from his (self-indulgent, he'd admit) fantasies; with wide-eyed terror, he whirled around to face what he had managed to convince himself was a righteous talking-to from the doctor—but it was just Sam. And he didn't know why and didn't want to know why, but Sebastian couldn't help but feel just a bit... disappointed.

So he had passed his weeks in that manner: about as usual, but covered with a suffocating layer of tension (tension that, he suspected, was confined solely to his own angst-ridden mind (which wasn't even any consolation; he just felt bad about feeling bad about essentially nothing)). Really, he was starting to get fed up with it, and besides, the letter had incited as much curiosity as it did anxiety. _What the hell could he possibly want with you?_ he kept thinking. _You're nothing. Why waste any time on you?_

One fall evening, his emotions fell into place long enough for him to decide he wanted some answers, anxiety be damned, so he set his alarm a few hours earlier than usual and resolved to head into town early next morning, before the clinic was supposed to open and before anyone would be out and about and able to spot him and interrogate him on, oh my goodness, what is _Sebastian_ doing _outside_ and so _early_ too, truly an _amazing_ sight to behold...

When the alarm went off at whatever o'clock in the morning, Sebastian slammed the snooze button and his eyelids shut, remembering with displeasure exactly why he should never make plans while in a good mood. By the next time his alarm sounded, he had changed his mind once more, and he was on his feet. _Come on, it's been long enough. Let's fucking go._


	4. Wednesday, Fall 3 (Part 2)

So it came to be that, on that fine morning of the third of Fall, Sebastian found himself approaching the clinic of his own volition.

As he'd hoped, he hadn't run into anyone on the way there—well, okay, there was Shane, on his way to work, staring at the ground and probably trying to avoid attention as much as Sebastian was, but although Shane had looked up at him with a small frown of confusion, perhaps even nonrecognition, he quickly went back to minding his own damn business, bless him.

The door was close enough now that he could see through it Harvey sitting at the front desk, shuffling through papers. Sebastian froze; for the past 12 hours, he had been able to think of Harvey without dread welling up inside of him, but with the doctor actually within view, his armor of resolve could no longer protect him. He thought again of riding out of Pelican Town, heading to the city, going on through to who knows where, never looking back—maybe if he went fast enough, he could even leave his problems behind for good—but the planets aligned just long enough for Harvey to casually glance up from his work and notice Sebastian. _Oh, fuck._ He smiled and got up to unlock the door. _Fucking shit._ "Good morning, Sebastian!" Harvey said as he held the door open and gestured to come inside. _Shit piss ass fuck._

Running was no longer an option at this point, now that he was spotted, now that someone would immediately _know_ if he tried to escape. With his one hope crushed, he walked in without a word, hands buried in his pockets, gaze locked to the floor, head hung at the optimal angle to hide behind his hair. He sank mechanically into the first chair he saw and, unable to bear any other course of action, waited—for nothing in particular, though it would have been a welcome time for his doom. _This was a mistake. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be anywhere,_ he thought, over and over.

It barely even registered when Harvey started saying words at him—"Well, how's it going?" was what they sounded like, though he couldn't be positive. Not that it mattered: expending the tiny effort of opening his mouth to begin to respond was now an insurmountable obstacle, and he was pretty sure his tongue had crumbled to dust anyway.

A quiet minute or so passed that he experienced as eternal damnation. Then Harvey tried speaking again, almost a whisper this time: "Sebastian?" The broken silence as well as his unexpected shift to a much gentler tone actually made Sebastian jump a little. Harvey continued, "Would you like some water?"

Sebastian looked up just a bit; Harvey had actually bothered to bring a cup of water over to him. A simple gesture, of course, but it would have been even simpler to do nothing. With timid gratitude, he took it and drank, and the cold water running down his throat was revitalizing. He sighed, the first substantial breath he'd taken since stepping inside. Even as he thought, _Don't get your hopes up. He's just being nice because he has to,_ he couldn't help but relax just enough to finally speak.

"Sorry it took so long." He wasn't sure if he was apologizing for how long it took to get here or to talk. Probably both.

"That's quite all right," said Harvey, now leaning against the front desk. "I had expected you'd want to take your time. Although... I was starting to wonder if I'd overdone it a little."

"Mm," Sebastian grunted and shrugged slightly. "Whatever. Here I am."

"I'm glad."

And out of the corner of his eye, Sebastian thought he saw Harvey smile. He certainly wasn't about to turn his head or rearrange his bangs to confirm it (the very thought of eye contact was hellfire to him), but it was enough to let him feel almost somewhat okay about himself, at least for half a second until his good and helpful brain interjected, _Damn, he's putting in a lot of effort to pretend to tolerate you. It's almost impressive... Better not push his limits._ "H-hey, but you looked busy when I came in. Aren't I interrupting your work? Should I come back later..."

"Hmm? Oh, no, please don't worry about that. We can certainly talk right now if you like."

"Yeah... well, yeah..." Sebastian's voice trailed off as he scratched his neck. He was definitely a lot more okay with the concept of having a regular conversation with Harvey than he had been not so long ago, but when it came down to it, he didn't really know what to say. Still, there had to be _something_ better than sitting in silence for another eternity. "Um... you first?" _Yeah. Great. Perfect._

"Oh! Yeah, all right. So, uh, what do you do, Sebastian?"

"What, like a job?"

"Yeah."

Sebastian hesitated: he hated that question but could never arm himself with a convincing lie. And regardless... for some reason, it didn't feel right lying to Harvey. "Freelance programming," he said at last.

"That's a fine trade," replied Harvey, sincerely and without missing a beat. "You know, I was required to take some computer science in undergrad, and that was..." He laughed and shook his head. "Let's say I've had better days. Well, good for you, Sebastian."

Sebastian blinked, mentally replayed what Harvey had just said, and blinked again. That wasn't on the script; Harvey should have been asking no seriously what's your _real_ job or cracking a tired-ass "joke" about hey can you fix my computer thanks buddy. What was he supposed to say to actual encouragement? He settled on, "Finally, someone gets it."

"Oh? Do people not..." Harvey thought for a moment, tapping his fingers on the desk. "Yes, I suppose it's unusual for a rural town. You might be spearheading a new career movement!"

It was such an affably absurd declaration that Sebastian couldn't help but cough out a laugh. "Yeah, that's right. Whatever you say."

Harvey chuckled as well but quickly became pensive. "I'm sorry people haven't been getting it."

"Oh. Um, it's... it's whatever."

"Hmm. It doesn't sound like 'whatever'," said Harvey, a little softer, with sympathy.

"Okay, yeah. It's just, it's more like, they don't get _me_. Sorry I, um, sorry for whining."

"No, no, it's true; sometimes, people really don't understand."

"Sure, but..." He paused. There was a lot of bitterness in Sebastian about no one taking him seriously. His job, his manner of dress, his demeanor... that added up to the weirdest citizen of Stardew Valley (okay, second weirdest, but only because _a literal wizard_ was living in town), and near everyone made sure he knew it. And the _really_ fucked-up part was, it was so bad that sometimes he'd wonder if he even was allowed to complain or if he was just being childish. All he had to do was change a few things to fit in and his life would be so much easier, right?

He didn't know how to begin unpacking his suppressed frustration, if he should even try. After all, he had basically just met Harvey; it was a bit too early to dump that magnitude of bullshit onto him, wasn't it? "But... god, I don't know."

"Hey... sometimes it's okay not to know."

"Is this one of those times?" It was kind of a rude question Sebastian asked purely out of reflex, and he instantly regretted it. Somehow, though, Harvey seemed to consider it intently.

"If it's something to do with long-standing conflicting feelings? I'll say yes. Of course you want to resolve them as soon as you can, but don't forget they're so persistent for a reason. It's perfectly fine if you need to take your time figuring them out." He then said more distantly, "Well, that's just my own experience, anyway."

Caught off-guard by an actual answer, Sebastian could only sit in contemplative silence. Even if it wasn't exactly what he was looking for, well, it probably wasn't wrong.

"I'm sorry. I think I've assumed too much," said Harvey.

Sebastian just shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Really."

Harvey fell quiet for a moment to consider Sebastian's mood then decided to revert to an earlier subject. "At the very least, your job suits you, doesn't it?"

"Huh? I guess, yeah... I mean, I like computers. I hate, being, you know, a cog in a soulless corporate machine."

"Then I hope you keep at it. And I hope... well, I was going to say something like, don't let what other people say get to you. If only it were so easy. But you do have my respect, for what it's worth."

"... Thanks."

A wordless few seconds passed, not entirely uncomfortably.

"Hey, um..." started Harvey sheepishly, his hands in his pockets. "Look, I'm sorry we didn't get to talk very much... I think we'll have to end it here for today. Well, I don't need to open for another half hour, but there's some work I need to finish before then, and..."

Sebastian jerked his head up and looked at the wall behind Harvey with a little more disappointment than he'd expected from himself. "So you really were busy today. What the hell."

"I know, I know... I'm sorry. But I was worried that if I turned you away, I'd lose my chance forever."

 _What a line! He... really wanted to talk to you that badly?_ "I, guess, that's fair. Um, what about, later," he muttered as he turned his gaze back to the floor.

"Later? Oh." Harvey smiled to himself—not that, the whole time, Sebastian had looked at him long enough to notice him smiling, but this instance was especially just for himself. "Well, how about this: unfortunately, since flu season is coming on, I might not be as available in the following weeks, but I usually take some time for myself on Saturdays, so if you'd like to come by on the 7th, perhaps, or maybe the 14th would be better... or actually, even most weekday afternoons and evenings would work too, I'd just have to—oh!" He had looked over at Sebastian, who was now frowning in consternation. "I'm sorry, I guess that was a bit much to put on you."

"Uh, um, kinda. Sorry."

"It's fine, it's fine. Hmm... could you send me a letter if you'd like to visit, maybe? At least a couple days in advance?"

Letters. Sebastian supposed they're easy and subtle enough, even if painfully old-fashioned. "Okay." He stood up, figuring all business concluded and readying himself to leave, but then he remembered he should say something like what normal people do in situations of parting. "Bye." _Nailed it._ Now _you can go._

"Take care, Sebastian. Oh, by the way..." Harvey stepped closer to him, still maintaining a respectful distance. "I really did like talking to you today. Please don't worry about bothering me or anything like that."

Sebastian turned his head slightly towards Harvey and nodded, nearly a full nod this time. "Thank you."

He left the clinic and walked as far as the abandoned community center before allowing himself to stop and take a deep breath. He had to be honest with himself: he had no idea what just happened. For sure, it was a lot less hellish than he had feared, to the extent that he almost wondered if he'd dreamed all of it. After isolating himself and ignoring societal norms for so long, he thought he needed no one's favor, and now he had Harvey's without even doing a damn thing. Something like that doesn't just happen, does it? _He doesn't really know you yet. That's what it is. He can say all that nice shit only because he doesn't know you._

Even then, Sebastian couldn't deny that, all morning, Harvey had received his sullen presence with the utmost patience. He didn't know what to do with that—or with any of his thoughts and feelings right now, for that matter. It didn't help that he was terribly exhausted from all that anxiety and social interaction; more than anything he wanted to lock himself in his room and do absolutely nothing of import for the rest of the day. He resumed his walk home, quickening his pace.

His mom was behind the shop counter by the time he entered the house. "Sebby! You were out this whole morning?"

Having figured he'd see Robin on his way back, he had his answer prepared. "Woke up early today. Couldn't fall back asleep," he said convincingly, not that that was even a lie.

"Aw, sorry to hear that. Take it easy today, all right?"

 _You fucking bet, mom,_ thought Sebastian as he entered his room and collapsed into his chair. Not even 10 (in the morning!) and he was drained. On his computer, he launched the noisiest and most mindless game he could find and prepared to ignore his emotions.


	5. Interludes 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry it's taking so long for the seb/harv combo to get Spicy (or, even, just Flavored)!!! please understand that these are very shy boys........ they need to take their dang time
> 
> edit 5/11: changed a paragraph i didn't really feel like was in character. next chapter's gonna take longer than you might expect... hang in there......!  
> edit 5/24: LMAO I'M! STILL WORKING ON IT!!!! please keep, hanging, in there,,,,

_That's right, no morning appointments today,_ thought Harvey, sitting at the clinic computer, scrolling through his schedule. _But in the afternoon, and the rest of the week, hmm..._

He leaned back in his chair and inhaled slowly, trying to savor the quiet morning. _I wonder when I'll see Sebastian again... If it's this week, I'll have to—_

His thoughts were interrupted by the crack of a pen slamming against the counter followed by an irritated grunt. He looked over at Maru, who was seething quietly at her forms. "Something wrong, Maru?"

"Oh! Um..." Her frustration alchemized into embarrassment upon realizing her boss was, in fact, still in the room. "Nothing. Just, this pen's all dried up," she said with forced nonchalance.

"I'll get you a new one." He opened a drawer and browsed through it. "Um, are you sure that's all?"

She grimaced and looked off to the side, as if considering how silly and unprofessional she'd look if she answered truthfully but also really, really wanting to vent. "It's just Sebastian. I was thinking about how yesterday I saw him leaving his room for once, and I said, 'Hey Seb, good to see you out here! Wanna play a game or something?' And he just stared at me—no, _past_ me—and he said, 'Not really,' and turned around and just, went back inside!" Her tiny rant reignited her anger. She took a deep breath, though it did little to calm her. "I'm trying to be nice, I've been trying for years, and he's just...!"

"Well," began Harvey as he set a fresh pen beside her papers. "Maybe he got too nervous, being put on the spot like that."

"Oh, come on! How do you know so much about my—" she cut off, realizing she had raised her voice, _in fact_ , at her boss. Covering her mouth with her hands, she spun away sharply—which was convenient for Harvey, since he had to recover from almost being asked a very pointed question he had no idea how to answer tactfully.

"Oh _shit_ ," she mumbled, before turning partly back to him and lowering her hands and head. "I'm really sorry, Dr. Harvey. I don't know what got into me."

"It's fine," he said gently. "You just got a little worked up; it happens."

"Haha... you really get it. Thanks."

Flashing a relieved smile, she took the pen and got back to work. Harvey suppressed a sigh of regret.

* * *

On a brisk Saturday morning, Sebastian made the usual journey to Sam's house to spend his day. He found his friend standing by the river, who grinned at his approach. "What's up, Seb?"

"Just the usual. What about you?"

"Ah, not much. Gotta see the doctor on Thursday though... blegh." Sam stuck his tongue out, in case his displeasure needed any further punctuating.

"... Yeah?" Sebastian said, a bit more tepidly than Sam expected. "It's not so bad." _Um, actually,_ your _appointment went terribly, dipshit,_ he started to think, but he shook it off.

"I don't need it! I'm fine. Fit as a fiddle. Healthy as a horse. Know what I mean?"

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch your drift," retorted Sebastian, stoically receiving a shoulder jab from Sam. "... It's just to be safe, you know."

"It's _so_ boring though! I've got a billion other things I could be doing with my time."

"Uh-huh. Those flips aren't gonna _not_ do themselves."

Anticipating the next punch, he expertly stepped back, leaving Sam fuming comically. "Sebastian, fucksake! If you could just stop roasting my nuts for half a second...!"

Sebastian snorted, and he could have let the subject drop after that. Instead, to his chagrin, he found himself saying, "Well, I'm sure he'd also rather be somewhere else, and, doing, something else."

"Yeah, he'll be in a real big hurry to climb back into his coffin, I bet." Sam chuckled at his sick burn and turned to Sebastian when he realized he was the only one laughing. "... What? Man, you know it's just casual shit-talk. Same as we ever do."

"... Yeah." Sebastian forced a little smile. "Hey, let's go inside. Show me your cool new jams or whatever."

* * *

"Is it just me, or has the doctor been looking at us every so often?" hissed Abigail at Sam and Sebastian. It was an uncommon, but not terribly unusual, night when she and her friends were at the saloon at the same time as Harvey, him at the bar and them at the pool table. "It's _super_ weird."

Sebastian could only blink and choke out, "What?"

But Sam didn't even look up from planning his shot when he replied breezily, "Chill, Abby. We've all been coming here for weeks and weeks. Why would he suddenly give a crap about us now?"

"Hmmmm." She mulled it over and decided to indeed chill. "Okay. You have a point," she admitted, after which Sebastian could also relax.

"'Course I do. And check it out, I got another point right here." He made his strike, and Abigail couldn't stop herself from giggling as she observed Sam's expression transform so swiftly into the horror of shattered hubris.

Recovered now, Sebastian shook his head as he rubbed chalk onto the end of his cue stick. "This game doesn't even have points, you chucklefuck."

"Shut up!"

Around nine, they decided to call it a night, Sebastian timidly fixing his gaze to the floor on his way out. For days afterwards, as silly and meaningless as he knew it was, it was stuck in his mind that Harvey had sighed so heavily just as Sebastian was leaving.

* * *

A rainy afternoon, unseasonably warm, began its passage as Harvey was sweeping the waiting room. He took another short break to stare pensively out the door; something about the unrelenting patter of rain made his mind wander much more often.

A dark figure moving outside caught his eye. It was a fair distance from the clinic, its back to Harvey. _It must be Sebastian. No one else wears that much black,_ he thought, going to the door to get a better look. _He... he doesn't have an umbrella! Or a coat, or anything!_ Worry surged within him as he dashed upstairs and scrambled to put on a raincoat and boots. _He's just... out there, getting soaked! What the hell!_

He burst through the front door, fumbled opening one umbrella without dropping the other, and got a few steps from the clinic before he realized he didn't actually know where Sebastian went off to. Scanning the area yielded no results of interest; it was indeed just him, standing in the middle of the town, with two umbrellas, face probably flushed from sudden exertion. _I... must have just imagined it. Yes, that's it,_ he rationalized, as a defense against his growing feelings of foolishness (and paying no mind to why he would even imagine such a thing).

His first idea was to retreat back inside, but another look around the town, all hushed and serene in this weather, convinced him to linger. He made his way to the southern bend of the river, where he often visited when the weather was sunnier. It was already easy enough to lose track of time here, turned away from the village, with the river bubbling and gleaming in the sunlight and the bright foliage rustling in the wind. Now, even though the colors were all a bit muted, well... something about the rain, surrounding him...

Someone crossed the bridge, returning from the beach. Dressed in black. He jolted to a stop, apparently upon noticing Harvey, who first idly glimpsed at the movement out of reflex and then was fully and acutely aware of who exactly was at the bridge once he remembered just why on earth he was in such a hurry to get outside anyway. "Sebastian! Hey!" He strode closer as fast as he could while maintaining his footing in the mud and held out the extra umbrella. "You should take, uh... uhhh..."

It was now that he noticed the small folded umbrella strapped to Sebastian's wrist; stumped by this new information, he could only hold still and fall silent. Sebastian looked blankly in Harvey's direction, then at his own umbrella, then down at his drenched person. When he raised his head again, a few locks of hair had slid down in front of his eyes and stayed there. The rain kept pouring down and a light breeze kicked up and Harvey finally thought to lower his arm as he wondered if Sebastian was feeling half as ridiculous as he was.

Finally, Sebastian walked, but not away from the doctor. He maneuvered to the cover of a nearby tree, moved the hair obstructing his vision, and lit a cigarette. Only when the wind was blowing, Harvey noticed, did Sebastian exhale his smoke, turning his head away too.

They didn't speak for a few moments, during which Harvey stole furtive glances at his mysterious companion. He'd absolutely never smoke, but even he couldn't deny the aesthetic appeal. The solemn, brooding man in all black, leaning against a tree and having a smoke in the rain... Sebastian really knew how to pull a brand together.

He was also the first to break the silence. "Come here often?"

Startled, Harvey stammered out, "Um, oh, yes, actually." He swallowed and tried to get it together. "Well, less so in this weather."

Sebastian mumbled a reply that barely evaded Harvey; it sounded like, "Shame." He pulled something out from his hoodie pocket but just held it in his hand—it might have been a folded sheet of paper before the rain got to it. Reconsidering, he put it away. "The 21st?"

"I'm sorry?" It took Harvey, still in the process of getting it together, a second to understand the question. "Oh, y-yes. The 21st. Yes, that's fine." _This rain's a lot warmer than I thought..._

With a slight nod, Sebastian dropped his cigarette, only half-finished, and ground his foot on it. He made to leave, but first it occurred to him to pick up the cigarette butt as well as open his dang umbrella. "See ya," he muttered as he started his way north.

"Take it easy," said Harvey, hoping he himself could do the same.


	6. Saturday, Fall 20 (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update! i had a lot of trouble writing in the past month, but here we are now! i originally wasn't even going to post this, but i looked at how much i'd written and how much i still wanted to write and how long it was since the last chapter and i was like "you know what... let's just make this another two-parter."

It rained again that afternoon, as Sebastian had hoped: no one witnessed him skulk down the mountain and into the clinic, but if they had, at least they would have seen him in his badass black raincoat.

(Not everything had simply fallen into place like that. Saturdays were most often spent with Sam, and canceling their meetups was always an exquisite headache that mostly consisted of him saying "Aw, come on" a lot, each repetition a dire test of Sebastian's patience. Well, Sam would get over it—probably quicker than Sebastian was, to be fair. If he weren't so focused on keeping a low profile, he would have dwelled on the memory and huffed and rolled his eyes all the way to town. _God, he needs to chill,_ he would have thought (and was thinking anyway). _Unlike you, of course, the flawless picture of chill at all times forever._ )

The front door was unlocked but the waiting room was empty. _What? ... It's today, right?_ Wiping his shoes on the doormat, he began to wonder if he had hallucinated their arrangement by the river, a train of thought of a type that always seemed to derail. Just as it crossed his mind that perhaps he had imagined Harvey entirely, a note on the counter caught his eye: _Knock on my door if you need anything. —Dr. H_.

Though he was aware he had been invited, he felt a little weird entering the back halls of the clinic unsupervised. Actually, now that he thought about it, well, it was weird he didn't feel _more_ weird. Sure, the prospect of social interaction was hell on his nerves, as always. But today, there were no fantasies of escaping on his motorcycle, no compulsion to run and never stop. Maybe... maybe he was, even if only a little bit, looking forward to seeing Harvey. Absurd, of course, absolutely and totally untrue. But it was just that he had listened to him patiently and tried to understand him and shared a quiet moment with him in the rain...

He climbed the stairs up to Harvey's studio apartment. At the top, he took a moment to prepare himself, knocked, and waited. Harvey soon came to the door, and Sebastian thought he noticed a glimmer of an expression of... boredom? Weariness? But Harvey's face lit up so quickly and genuinely upon seeing Sebastian that he put it out of his mind. "Hey! You made it!"

"Yeah." A flicker of a shadow of a ghost of a smile passed through Sebastian's mouth. "You know a little rain won't stop me."

"Yes, you're right," Harvey laughed, which made Sebastian actually smile, brief as it was. "Well, please come in!"

Sebastian stepped in and took off his shoes and coat, holding the latter a bit uncertainly for just a moment until Harvey offered to take it. As he hung it up, he asked, "How's it going today?"

"Oh. Uh. Fine." As Sebastian expected, Harvey gave him that look, the one that meant he didn't believe him at all but he also didn't give enough of a damn to ask about it—

Well, except he did, which pleased Sebastian more than he wanted to admit to himself. "Anything on your mind? I'm happy to listen."

Turning his eyes to the floor, Sebastian considered what to say. There was always a lot on his mind, and it was always totally stupid. But so far, Harvey's tolerance for totally stupid things had proven to be quite high. And, petty as it was, Sebastian still wasn't over earlier events that day. So he asked, "Do you know Sam?"

"Yeah. Well, I'd say I know everyone here."

"Yeah, that's right, sorry, that was dumb. What I mean is, he's my friend. I don't have a lot of friends but he's one of them. It might surprise you 'cause we're so different—hell, it still surprises me sometimes. But even then." Sebastian paused for a breath, which was a mistake since that gave him just enough time to realize how dumb he must sound. He forced himself to keep talking. "Sorry, that was a lot of... sorry. Anyway, he was just giving me crap for not wanting to hang out today. We, uh, usually spend Saturdays together."

"I see," mumbled Harvey, shifting his weight to the other foot. "I'm sorry, am I... did you want to see him today?"

"No!" Sebastian almost shouted. "I mean, no, don't worry about it... like, yeah, Sam's my pal, but... I dunno. I just need to be alone sometimes."

"Would you like to be alone now?"

"No, that's not what I—!" He cut off, pouting and flustered. _Nice job fucking up_ everything _today, dumbass—_

"It's all right, Sebastian," Harvey said hastily. He reached out with a hand as if to give a comforting pat on the shoulder, then hesitated and tried to pass it off as some vague hand gesture. ( _Thank god, someone around here respects personal space._ ) "I just don't want to keep you here if you'd rather be elsewhere. That's all."

"I _do_ want to be here," said Sebastian, and then he immediately worried he had said that a little too quickly and forcefully. In a much quieter voice, his gaze trailing further along the floor, he added, "If you're okay with that."

"Of course. I'm happy to have you." Sebastian's eyes flicked up to see Harvey smile; he wondered how genuine it was, but like hell he was gonna look him in the eye to check. He let himself relax a little anyway. Gesturing behind himself, Harvey continued, "Why don't you have a seat, Sebastian? Sorry, I think I should have said so earlier..."

Only then did Sebastian realize he had been standing by the door the whole time like a moron—and despite Harvey's valiant attempt to spin it as his own fault, Sebastian managed to feel very moronic. He nodded slightly and went to sink into an armchair. At the very least, it eased the burden on his bones of holding up his awful body.

Harvey also came over and was about to settle into the couch when something occurred to him. "Oh! Are you hungry or thirsty? Can I get you anything?"

Though Sebastian had only a light lunch and his throat always seemed to dry out at the first hint of anxiety, he could only mutter, "Um, I, no, I'm good." _Don't bother him. Don't make him deal with your stupid ass longer than he has to._

"Hmm. Well, I'm going to get something for myself, and you're welcome to have some. You can relax for a few minutes, okay?"

_How does he keep volunteering himself to deal with your stupid ass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the ending's really artificial and abrupt but also whatever!!! passes out!!!!!!!!


	7. Saturday, Fall 20 (Part 2)

"Relax," Harvey had said. A tall order for the guy who was always mentally screaming, but Sebastian tried anyway.

He leaned back and breathed. So far, things were going... not disastrously, he had to admit, despite his attempts to sabotage himself. Suddenly it occurred to him that he ought to look around the room, to ground himself a little more and maybe even find an emergency conversation starter.

All right. Coffee table in front, TV on the left, couch on the right—standard fare so far. Over there, a table with books, papers, and... weird plastic crap. Sure.

And in the opposite corner, the radio broadcasting equipment. _Wait—what the fuck? What does he need any of that for—oh, emergency broadcasts, I guess._ It sounded like a reasonable enough purpose to Sebastian, the guy who had thought about radios for about five minutes cumulative through his entire life, so he went with that. He almost considered the possibility that Harvey had his own radio show, but it really didn't seem like something he'd do (as much as he had the voice for it).

Tragically, nothing else in the room came close to being as interesting as the radio stuff. On the walls, aviation diagrams, scientific illustrations, maps from various time periods. Bookshelves with enough medical texts to make his eyes cross and decide of their own volition to look somewhere else. Wall shelves for model aircraft. ( _How does anyone care about airplanes that much???_ ) Bed, nightstand. A cassette player. ( _A c—_ seriously _, dude? Are you for real?_ )

His survey ended at the kitchenette, where Harvey was preparing something. Sebastian quickly looked away but turned back soon enough, figuring he ought to get, while he had the opportunity to do so discreetly, a more reasonable picture of what Harvey looked like. He was dressed in his work attire—the clinic was still technically open, Sebastian supposed—it was nothing impressive, but it fit him well. Although he was tall, he wasn't the towering giant Sebastian (the short, slouching, nervous boy) had perceived him to be. And he moved as if, even after decades spent on Yoba's green earth, he wasn't _entirely_ sure what to do with his limbs.

Okay, maybe Sebastian was projecting that last part. It was possible.

Out of nowhere, completely unprovoked. his stupid asshole brain blurted out, _What a total fucking dork,_ which he immediately felt like irredeemable trash about. _The fuck is wrong with you? He treats you kindly and invites you into his home and that's what you have to say about it?_ He sighed and buried his face in his hands.

A soft clack made him start; Harvey had set onto the the coffee table a tray with two glasses of water and a plate of apple slices. "Sorry," he murmured as he sat down in the couch. "What's bothering you?"

Sebastian tried to think fast, even drinking some water to stall for time, but he could only come up with, "Oh. You know."

Harvey nodded and took a slice. "I'm sorry things didn't go well with Sam today."

 _Right. Sam._ Inwardly sighing of relief that Harvey filled in the blanks himself, Sebastian replied, "Yeah, well... it's just how it always goes."

"This has happened before?"

"Yeah." He took another sip.

"Maybe you should talk to him about it."

At that, Sebastian choked a little; Harvey looked alarmed but realized no intervention was necessary. "Um, what?" Sebastian said, between coughs.

"Well, if it's a recurring issue, it may benefit you to..."

Man, he didn't ask for this. Not this time. (Okay, he kind of just did, but that was more rhetorical than anything.) Vague life advice he can along with and pretend like he'll totally apply to himself, he could tolerate. This, though... "Hey, look. I get that you wanna help, but..." Suddenly he regretted opening his damn mouth. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say, let alone how to put it tactfully. "Well..."

It took Harvey a few seconds to put it together, which was honestly impressive compared to the myriad others who could never in their lives figure out a damn thing about Sebastian. "No, I understand. I'm sorry I did it again."

 _Again? Oh._ And Sebastian thought back to that summer day when Harvey had tried to tell him his business and he had shouted down the poor man. Now here they were, in Harvey's apartment, having a snack and an okay time. There was a strange disconnect here; Sebastian made his first attempt to bridge it. "Sorry I yelled at you."

Harvey's response was immediate: "I forgive you. It's all right."

"... Thanks."

A silence, not entirely uncomfortable, fell between them.

"Here, let me get you some more water."

Harvey got up with Sebastian's glass. For the brief moment he wasn't under observation, Sebastian took the opportunity to nibble on an apple. It was pretty good. He realized he should probably consider eating more fruit.

Once Harvey returned they spoke for a little longer. Sebastian tried to turn the conversation towards Harvey this time, but he couldn't himself to broach any remotely personal subject subject he was curious about: _"What's with the planes?" Look, maybe he just really likes planes; you don't have to make it a big damn deal. "What's the radio for?" Emergencies probably. Come on, you already know. "Why do you forgive me?" ..._

But it wasn't like Sebastian was having a bad time; he could tolerate small talk significantly better when it wasn't about him, and even though Harvey wasn't really the most interesting person in all of history and Sebastian didn't learn anything he couldn't have guessed ( _Yeah, his work is really rewarding._ Obviously _he loves coffee._ ), he found himself hanging onto Harvey's words more than he thought he would.

(At some point, both of them reached for the fruit plate at the same time, and it struck Sebastian how long and slender Harvey's fingers were. Sebastian was never particularly fond of any part of his body, and now especially his stubby sausage fingers mortified him. Trying very hard to not betray any distress, he shoved the apple slice into his mouth and his hands into his pockets.)

It was late in the afternoon when Harvey finally decided they ought to wrap it up. "Ah, Sebastian, um... I need to do some work, but... you're welcome to stay, if that's what you—" He sighed and shook his head. "No, no. What am I saying? Keep you here just to ignore you?"

"That sounds fine, actually," said Sebastian's mouth, before the rest of his body could do anything about it.

"Huh? Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yeah. I mean... what else am I doing?"

Harvey smiled warmly. "Well, okay. Suit yourself. Feel free to turn on the television or read a book or... um..."

Before Harvey could fully return to regretting his proposal, Sebastian tried to help him out. "TV's good. Won't the noise distract you though?"

"Oh, I'll be wearing headphones, so don't worry about it."

"Okay."

"Please, don't hesitate to tell me if you need anything."

So Harvey moved to his work table and Sebastian made himself comfortable on the couch. He turned on the TV, wondering what the hell he'd even watch; he hadn't touched his own television set in ages. The next hour or so was spent methodically cycling through the channels, nothing particularly grabbing his interest for longer than several minutes. He felt silly, but perhaps he should have felt sillier.

During the rest of his stay, Sebastian found himself sneaking a few glances over at Harvey, just to see what he was doing—specifically, if he was looking at him. Most often he was absorbed in his work, but on one occasion their eyes did meet, but Harvey was the one who first panicked and hurriedly looked away. So there was that.

As Sebastian began his second lap through the channel list, he heard some shuffling behind him, then the scrape of a chair backing up. Soon Harvey was standing near him. "How're you doing?"

"Fine. You, uh, done with work?"

"Oh, not at all. I'm just taking a break and stretching my legs. Small things, but nonetheless important."

 _He sure got the legs to stretch,_ was the offhand reaction. His conscious thought promptly scrambled to rein it in. _Oh my_ fucking _god, don't._

Perhaps noting Sebastian's pointed silence, Harvey asked, "Are you... feeling bored? It won't offend me if you want to leave."

Sebastian snapped out of it. "No, no, don't worry about it."

"All right. If you're sure. You can change your mind later, of course."

In actuality, Sebastian was indeed rather bored. But, somehow, for whatever inscrutable reason... well, at least one thing about watching television with Harvey working quietly off to the side was better than apathetically goofing off on the internet in his dungeon of a bedroom for the millionth consecutive day.

On lap three he noticed the time: it was well into the evening. _That late already?_ He turned around; Harvey was still focused on his tasks. _Guess you'd better leave before dinner._ He finally turned off the TV and went to grab his rain coat, and it was only when he bent to put on his shoes that he realized perhaps it would not be proper to leave so quietly. He approached Harvey timidly, considering how to get his attention, but to his mild surprise Harvey noticed him anyway. "Heading out?" he asked, pulling off his headphones and standing up. "You know where the door is, but let me show you out anyway."

Sebastian slipped his shoes on and Harvey opened the door. "Thank you for coming over, Sebastian."

"Yeah. Thanks for... letting me be here."

"Sebastian, I... I'm glad you stayed." And Harvey hesitated, as if he wanted to say more, but instead he just smiled and gave a tiny wave. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Sebastian nodded, almost smiling himself. "It was good to see you," he couldn't stop (and, maybe, wouldn't have stopped) himself from saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy... i'm not ecstatic with how these couple chapters turned out........ but also if i spent another day on them i'd lose my freakin mind!! on the bright side i'm excited about these upcoming scenes, so they'll go smoother hopefully!


	8. Interludes 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your continued support everyone!!!!! i'd probably still write this goofy nerd story even without it, but it's a lot of fun to read your comments and it makes me real happy that this entertains y'all :^)

At the fine hour of two o'clock in the afternoon, Sebastian rolled out of bed and emerged from his room in search of food. _Thinking pizza today._ Like there were days when he did not think pizza.

As he waited for his breakfast to heat up in the microwave, his gaze drifted over to the calendar, and it occurred to him that there was something of importance he should be prepared for. He flipped the page over to the upcoming season. _All right. Still have some time._

It was after he finished tearing into his awful delicious pizza (in his basement, of course, to remove all possibility of offending his family's delicate sensibilities) and after it set in that he had no idea what else to do with his day that he decided he might as well complete his errand now. He retrieved his motorcycle and drove off towards the city. _It's better to do it now before the roads get icy anyway._

_He'd prefer that. Heh._

* * *

"So, Seb..." Sam began as he drew a card. "Buddy. Pal." He leaned over the table. "Where were you on the night of the... yesterday?"

Resting her chin on the palm of her hand, Abigail regarded Sam with no small amount of judgment. "Sam, did you seriously forget, for the _third_ time today, what day it is?"

"Abigail, _please_. This doesn't concern you."

Sebastian didn't even look up from the board. "Well, did you?"

"Oh, for..." Letting out an exaggerated sigh, Sam collapsed into his chair. "Why don't you answer the damn question, Seb."

Perhaps if Sebastian hadn't been so focused on developing his sick strats, he would have chosen his answer a little more judiciously. As the situation was, he only muttered, "Just the city."

"The city!" The mock rage in Sam's voice became genuine. "What the hell, man!"

"... What?"

"You said we were gonna go together!"

Sebastian sighed and covered his face. He didn't need this. In the infinite twisting realm of endlessly branching possibilities, there existed absolutely no universe in which he needed this. "Sam, I didn't—it was a last-minute decision, Sam."

"Last-minute—You of all people should know I don't care about that! Come the fuck on!"

 _What the fuck is his problem? What is he even so mad about?_ To his horror, his eyes began to water; thank god he already had his hands shielding himself.

And even better, a third party was present in the room that recognized this situation was kinda fucked up. "Sam, what the hell's your deal? Leave Seb alone." _Guess you should thank her later._

"Well, he—!" Sam exhaled heavily and leaned back, crossing his arms. "Okay. Whatever."

The group was silent for a few moments. Sebastian composed himself and picked up his cards. He still felt miserable, of course, but he had plenty of experience with cramming his feelings into a box to be dealt with later. (Actually dealing with them was a different matter altogether.)

"So what'd you do in Zuzu?" asked Abigail idly as she browsed the discard pile.

"Just went to a café."

Sam looked up at him. "You drove all the way out there just to go to that café?" The edge had gone from his voice, at least.

The lighting in Sebastian's room, even over the game table, was poor; usually it was a common subject of complaint among the three, but this one time Sebastian was incredibly thankful that it masked his reddening face. "I, wanted those cinnamon buns."

"... They _are_ delicious," Sam admitted pensively. "Man. Now _I_ want buns."

"No porn at game night, Sam," deadpanned Abigail, and everyone fell into giggles following a beat of silence. _Damn, she's on top of it tonight._

"Fine, fine!" Sam was back in high spirits. "Then how 'bout some _corn_ at game night?!" He slammed down his Spooky Corn Maze card—a formidable threat to Sebastian's build.

"No corn either." Sebastian countered with Bloodflames of Reckoning.

"Fuck!"

And eventually, at the conclusion of game night (Sam won anyway), and after Abigail's departure, Sam lingered in front of the door, regret etched onto his face. "Hey, bro... Sorry I yelled at you."

"It's fine." Which was only _kind of_ a lie.

"We just, haven't hung out as much recently, you know?"

Only _kind of_ true. Sebastian guessed the biggest thing on Sam's mind was that he ditched him that past Saturday; there wasn't much evidence besides that. But he did promise Sam they'd head down to Zuzu City sometime soon, and being alone for long enough really was genuinely upsetting for Sam...

"Let's go tomorrow."

Sam's eyes lit up. "To the city?"

"Yeah. Just... later in the afternoon. Been waking up at two lately."

"No problem! Hey, we can grab dinner there too!"

"Sure, why not." Sebastian couldn't help but grin.

* * *

Harvey trekked up the mountain after work, all bundled in his scarf and overcoat—though a few days remained in the fall, it was cold enough that winter may as well have arrived early. _I knew I should have done this earlier,_ he thought as he opened the door to the carpenter's shop.

Robin looked up from the spreadsheets on the counter, her expression betraying distress upon seeing who the visitor was. "Dr. Harvey! Uh, what brings you here?"

People tended to react that way upon seeing Harvey outside the clinic. And he understood why and didn't fault that, but all the same it was tiring sometimes. At the end of the day, he was just another citizen, like anyone else here, wasn't he?

With what he hoped was a polite smile, he responded, "Just business, Robin, that's all. You see, with winter right around the corner, I thought it might be prudent to install a fireplace..."

And so they spoke for some time—even having done some light research, Harvey found there was quite a bit more to fireplaces than he expected; most worryingly, the quotation Robin gave him exceeded his price estimate. But it wasn't by that much, and it would probably still be worth it for a cozy, blazing fire in his otherwise lifeless apartment...

In the midst of a discussion on an appropriate fuel source, an echoing footfall behind him made him turn around, purely on instinct, and he locked eyes with an alarmed Sebastian, frozen at the top of the basement stairs for just an instant—and then he bolted back down.

Even if it was by brief, awkward coincidence, Harvey liked to see his new friend. He silently wished Sebastian well.

"Oh, that's just my son, Sebastian. He's a little shy," laughed Robin, prompting Harvey to turn back to her. "Actually, you've met him, haven't you?"

"Yes, that's right. He had an appointment in the summer."

"Yeah, I remember now. And then..." Worry crept onto her face. "He got a letter from you." She leaned in, lowering her voice. "Were there any problems?"

"No, he's..." He smiled, but just a bit—any more would, perhaps, have not been suitable for this context. "He's good. Don't worry."

* * *

On Sam's computer, his instant messaging client chirped and flashed, then again. _That's gotta be Seb. Wonder what's going on?_ Sam eagerly went to check.

SEBASTIAN: I'm gonna be a little late  
SEBASTIAN: Sorry  
SAM: r u for real dude!  
SAM: why???  
SAM: uh you still there?  
SEBASTIAN: Reasons  



	9. Wednesday, Winter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE I GOT A TREAT FOR YOU TODAY (ok its a two week old treat but _cute art never goes bad_ )
> 
> thedoormann on the ol tumblr dot com did a fanart of seb and harvey!!!! [CHECK IT OUT](http://thedoormann.tumblr.com/post/146076882493/ok-so-theres-a-really-cute-fic-about-sebby-and) (and thank you again!)

The last time Sebastian visited Harvey in his home, it hadn't occurred to him to suggest a time for a future meeting. (He knew he was a bit distracted at the time but, for the life of him, could not remember by what.)

So on days when he bothered to go outside—more frequent now with the lower temperatures and shorter daylight—he would sometimes find himself hanging around the edge of the village, staring at the back of the clinic. And he would wait for the occurrence of any sort of impetus that would get him to actually go there, but each time, all that happened was his brain shouting a hundred reasons to just turn around and go home. _Maru's there today and she'll see you. You shouldn't bother him while he's working. It's not like he wants to see you_ that _bad._

But one afternoon, leaning against a tree as the snow drifted down, he realized he didn't have to make a huge fucking deal out of every visit. He can just go in and be like "sup" and then they can go on with their respective days. That's something normal people do, right?

(Actually, Sebastian had no idea, but he did his damnedest to convince himself of it—given that the alternative was admitting to himself exactly how much he wanted to see Harvey.)

Sneaking into the clinic as best as he could, he found Harvey at the computer, working on something extremely interesting probably. He turned around and, upon seeing his visitor, stood up and moved to the counter. "Oh, Sebastian! Er, what can I do for you?"

"I just..." _Wait, fuck, normal people_ do _do this, right? Oh, fuck... it's too late now._ "Wanted to say hi."

"Oh, in that case, come around back."

"Huh?"

"Well, I can't have a proper conversation with my friend over the clinic front desk!"

 _Friend._ "Uh... I mean, aren't you busy?" _... Friend._

"I can spare a few minutes. Don't worry."

"... Okay." _His friend._

_...... That's nice._

They met again in the back hall, Harvey smiling pleasantly. "How are you, Sebastian? The weather didn't give you too much trouble, I hope."

"No, it's fine. I like it, actually."

"Oh? Even though..." His smile faded as he looked Sebastian over. "So you... you're really not cold?"

The scrutiny was starting to make Sebastian uncomfortable. "Oh. No. I never get cold."

Harvey continued to regard Sebastian with consternation, and then he launched into a Doctor Speech: "Well, in the winter, it's really best to—"

And then Sebastian was grimacing and his fingers were fidgeting, and Harvey's expression softened. "To, um..."

Still, the concern was plain on his face, and reciting Doctor Speeches was probably just second nature to him at this point. _Don't be so childish. Look at him. He's just worried about you._

_His friend._

Sebastian sighed and prepared himself. "Just tell me one thing... okay?"

Harvey's eyes lit up in surprise, and he quickly asked, "Do you own a scarf?"

"No."

"Would—would you take one of mine?"

"... What?"

"I have extra scarves. I, um, have a confusing number of scarves. Here, I'll find you one right now."

He was already bounding up the stairs when Sebastian thought to go after him and say something. "Wait, no, I'm good, I don't need..." he protested weakly as he stepped into the apartment, Harvey rummaging through the closet. "Look, it's gonna clash with my aesthetic. I really can't..."

"Are you sure?" Harvey turned around, holding out a solid black scarf. "This one's your color."

He looked so pleased that Sebastian couldn't help but give a tiny smile too. "Yeah. It is."

But just as he took it, he realized in horror that he had only the faintest idea of how the fuck to actually wear a scarf. _Oh, god, he's gonna think I'm a fucking moron..._ "Uh, how do... I've never actually..."

If Harvey thought so little of Sebastian, not a trace of it showed through his face or his voice. "Oh! Um, may I put it on you?"

Sebastian considered the situation. As much as he treasured his personal space, he found himself relenting just this once. It was just a scarf; Harvey wouldn't have to be that close, right? "Okay."

Harvey nodded and began wrapping the scarf around Sebastian's neck, snug but not suffocating. "So, I am by no means a fashion expert... I'll just tell you to completely cover your neck, and also your mouth and nose if it's very cold. Tie a knot if you're worried about it coming loose. And the ends, you can leave alone or tuck into your sweatshirt. Or just wrap them around some more." His job done, he pulled out the long side of Sebastian's hair from under the scarf, carefully minimizing skin contact. "There you go. Looking good!"

 _Looking good..._ "So... you want me to... keep it?"

"Please do. It'll keep you warm. And it suits you more than it ever did me."

"... Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He was beaming and Sebastian didn't know how to feel about any of this.

He drifted towards the door. "I should probably go. You've got work to do."

"I do, but..." They started down the stairs. "I'm glad you stopped by. This was a nice break."

"Yeah."

"And, um, I know you said to tell you only one thing, but... you know, I'm sure there are some nice boots that would enhance your, um, what was that word you used?"

"... Aesthetic?"

"Aesthetic. Thank you."

Something about introducing to this square-ass doctor the modern concept of an aesthetic and him looking pleased as punch about it was oddly hilarious to Sebastian. He laughed as he replied, "Yeah, no problem."

Harvey laughed a little too. Maybe he didn't know exactly why he was laughing, but at least he sounded like he meant it.

Down in the clinic, just after they said their goodbyes and Sebastian moved to leave, it turned out Harvey wanted to say just one more thing. "Um—I'm sorry, I know you were ready to go—but if you could come by the clinic on the tenth... it doesn't have to be for very long at all. Um, I would appreciate it."

Sebastian nodded. "I'll try."

The wind and snow had picked up a bit since he entered the clinic. He pulled his scarf over his chin and rushed to get home. Partly to avoid detection, but mostly because... well, of course he wasn't _lying_ when he said he doesn't get cold. What a silly question! He might look the same in the winter, but it was just common sense that he would wear extra layers and a thicker hoodie. Never mind that he wore the same pants and the chill air always cut through to his legs, or that the snow melted and seeped into his sneakers, or that his hands could not venture outside his pockets for longer than a minute, or...

... At least his neck was safe now.

But at the entrance of his warm, windless house, he hesitated. Would Robin or Maru see his new accessory and ask about it? What could he say? The solution for now was obvious: just remove it and shove it into his hoodie pocket. But it would be pretty silly to have to take off and put on the scarf every time he entered or left a building; plus, he was sure he would eventually end up outside _and_ in the presence of other people, _at the same time_. It really might just be easier to ditch the scarf altogether.

Except _no_. As he descended the stairs to his room, it dawned on him that, as bad as it would be for people to ask him why he's wearing a scarf, it would be _even worse_ to have Harvey ask why he isn't wearing it. Could he really look Harvey in the eye and say he was just too big of a chump? The first thing alone would be impossible, so of course not.

He stood in his bathroom, facing the mirror, and put on his scarf again. Besides... it really was cozy. Cozy _and_ badass. Two words that for sure described Sebastian exceedingly well.

And besides _that_ , it was a gift... a gift from a concerned friend.

He kept it on for the rest of the day.


	10. Monday, Winter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 10 what the hell!
> 
> my friends, i've got _exceedingly_ choice shit to show you today. both [lingermylingen](http://lingermylingen.tumblr.com/post/146989703675) and [thedoormann](http://thedoormann.tumblr.com/post/146956885533/i-hated-the-colored-version-so-have-this-instead) have provided their takes on harvey with cozyseb, for which i am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL

"Hey, Seb. Nice scarf."

"Nice face, dipshit."

"Oh, thank Yoba. Finally, someone noticed all my hard work."

Sebastian just snorted. The two friends entered the Festival of Ice together in silence, until Sam spoke again. "I was being serious, you know. You, um, look good."

"Oh. Sorry. Uh, thanks." _So Sam thinks so too... maybe he wasn't just being nice that day..._

"Looks warm."

"Yeah."

Strolling through the festival grounds, they waved to Abigail, who quickly turned back to her task of building the most badass snow goon. "I guess that ends our yearly tradition of me asking if you're cold and then increasingly aggressively offering you my jacket."

"So, that's all it took?"

"Yeah, you're right. Hey, Seb, aren't you—"

"Don't."

Sam started to guffaw, but hastily shut up and shot out a hand in front of Sebastian, blocking his way. "Hey, careful."

They were standing at the edge of a frozen pond, with several moderately sized holes cut through the ice. As irritated as Sebastian was at the sudden physical contact, he probably would have fallen into one of them otherwise. He brought himself to mutter, "Thanks."

"No problem, bro."

They resumed their walk, slower on the ice, Sebastian with more trepidation than Sam. "Should... we be walking on it right now?"

"What? Dude, like, five people are gonna be fishing on it later. It can take the two of us."

Sebastian suppressed a sigh but could not stop his eyes from rolling. It happened sometimes that, without warning, he would deeply tire of the carelessly sarcastic tone of their usual banter, and he could not explain why nor reliably predict when it would happen. The best thing to do afterwards was just to change the subject. "So that's the big thing they hyped up this year? Ice fishing?" he asked, bending down tentatively at the edge of a hole.

"Yep."

"But, won't... they know the fisherman's gonna win, right?"

"Well, Abby wins every egg hunt. And Pierre wins every grange display. I think the mayor's beyond giving a shit."

"Hmm. Fucked up, but true," Sebastian idly muttered, his attention on the shiny, slippery fish cavorting in the water.

Sam reached the other edge of the pond, and allowed Sebastian just a moment of reprieve until he said, "Hey, you gonna spend all day jerking it with the fish? Let's go."

It was meant to be another flippant jibe, Sebastian knew, but again it exasperated him all the same. He couldn't stop himself from retorting, "Yeah, yeah. Keep your fucking jorts on."

Whatever Sam was about to say was cut short by a crack tearing through the calm winter air. Sebastian exchanged with him a look of imminent terror.

"Seb."

He tried to straighten his knees, to stand up and run. But as soon as he started to push off the ground, the ice gave way.

What happened next was a bit of a blur to Sebastian.

Immediately after being plunged into the water and having its heat suddenly drain at an alarming pace, his goddamn asshole piece of shit body decided the first thing it needed to do, the only thing it _could_ do, was get as much of the frigid air inside it as quickly as humanly possible.

Sebastian needed a nontrivial amount of time even to realize the fish pond was only a few feet deep, let alone to drag himself out of it.

Voices, at varying pitches and distances, had been shouting. Now they were next to him.

"Seb! Can you hear me?" He couldn't place that one right away; it was a while since he had heard Sam so worried. He tried to nod but it probably got lost in his violent shivering. Well, it was an odd question anyway. "I got the doctor! You're gonna be okay!"

 _The doctor..._ A deeper, calmer voice spoke as his wet hair was wrung out, his scarf was pulled off, and a heavy coat was wrapped around him. "What happened? How did you get so drenched?"

It was hard for him to speak: all of the muscles he normally maintained voluntary control over had other plans for the time being. Besides, Sam had already answered for him. "Well, he was crouched down, and he just... dropped in like that."

There was silence as a dry scarf was wound about his neck and face and a thick winter hat placed on his head. Then, a whisper of "Oh, god." Sebastian looked at Harvey, who shook his head and dispersed the horror on his face. "It's nothing. You're safe now; I promise."

"Sebby!" That was his mom, unmistakably. "Oh, you poor thing! Doctor, is he going to be okay?"

"Oh, certainly. He wasn't in the water nearly long enough for any long-lasting damage. But..."

"But he should go to the clinic, shouldn't he?"

"Yes. I believe so."

A hand on his shoulder. "I know you won't like it, but just hang in there, Sebby. It's for your health." A gentle squeeze, then release.

"Sebastian? Can you walk to the clinic unassisted?"

Sebastian shook his head no. _What? Why'd you fucking lie, idiot?_ he thought immediately afterwards. Sure, it would be miserable, but he knew he could still do it... Regardless, Harvey continued, "Do I have your permission to physically assist you?" Sebastian hesitated, then indicated permission.

So Sebastian was taken to the clinic, half-carried by Harvey. On the way there—well, in case the bodily contact didn't give him enough to think about, Sebastian also realized what the faint, familiar scent of the changed scarf meant: _This is all his stuff._

Of course it was. It wasn't like Harvey was going to swipe all that winter gear off some poor bystander, but he had to shield Sebastian from further cold somehow. But, as minor and nearly obligate as it was, it was a sacrifice on his part, wasn't it?

He pulled the coat tighter over his shoulders as they walked in silence, up until they were inside. "I'll take you upstairs. You can sit by the fire," said Harvey. "Um, your mother did a good job with the fireplace, I think. I hope you like it too."

"She's good. Yeah." Speaking was still a struggle, more mentally than physically now. But he tried to sound sincere.

They maneuvered up the steps together and entered Harvey's apartment. "Let's get you dried off." Harvey deposited him by the new fireplace in the corner and started up a fire. "I don't think it's medically necessary, but I'll make you a warm drink too." He took the wet winter clothes from Sebastian. "Do you like hot chocolate?"

Sebastian didn't know how much he needed some goodass hot chocolate right then until Harvey mentioned it.

So he got a mug of it, with marshmallows and a bit of cinnamon too (supremely his shit), and Harvey let him be—although, relaxing in front of that bright, inviting fire, he wondered if it would be good to ask Harvey, "Don't you want to sit by the fire too?" But, for some reason, the words felt impossible to form.

It seemed he was on the brink of falling asleep—so comfortable he was in Harvey's home then—when a sharp knock at the front door pulled him back to alertness. Luckily, the door swung such that it concealed him from the visitor as Harvey spoke to them. "Good afternoon! What... oh, dear. Yes, let's get that patched up right away." And suddenly, Sebastian was alone.

For a few moments longer, he stayed seated: sometimes a lively fire was just the most interesting thing on earth. But he was starting to get perhaps too warm, and he should do something about his empty mug, so he eventually stood up. After he decided that putting it in the sink and filling it with water would be a safe course of action, Harvey had yet to come back. Which was reasonable; about five minutes, tops, had elapsed. It was just that it meant there was still a patient downstairs, and therefore he couldn't leave. Because that was how things worked for Sebastian.

So he found himself wandering through the little apartment, getting a closer look at all the stuff he had merely glanced at a few weeks ago. He knew little about model airplanes, but the ones Harvey displayed seemed finely crafted (he did make them himself, right? Yes, he must have; there are parts and tools right there on that table). He knew less of radios, but the equipment in the corner looked... really old, but well maintained, at least. And despite being the layest of laypeople, he was convinced there was no way Harvey considered those medical books anything but intolerably dry.

On a side table he spied a few picture frames, something that evaded his notice all previous visits. Curious about what memories Harvey had chosen to feature, Sebastian approached them. There were only three photographs; he picked up and examined each. The first showed an owlish young boy, clutching a kite, in a sunny suburban street; the second, an old biplane in a museum; the third, a snow-covered college campus, barely lit by the early morning. _That's it? No old flames or nothing?_ he thought, smirking. _... Not even any friends or family?_ His smirk faded and his heart sank.

Muffled footsteps wrenched Sebastian from his thoughts. He scrambled to put down the photo but ended up knocking over all of them. "Shit!"

Harvey entered the room to find Sebastian bent over the floor, frozen in place as he was reaching to pick up the mess he had made. Sebastian could say nothing, only stare, completely aghast. But Harvey smiled and went over to help put the frames back. "So you're up and about now. That's good!"

"Um... yeah." He didn't really know what to do with this reaction, not that a different one would have changed anything. "Um, sorry I was snooping through your stuff."

"Hardly. You were just looking at what was already out." His gaze lingered on the last photo to be put back, the one of himself, presumably. Then he looked over at Sebastian, and he must had noticed the questions in Sebastian's eyes. "I know I don't have very much to show... but I've accumulated a few picture frames over the years, so I thought I might as well use them."

What a frustrating non-answer. Sebastian direly wanted to press for more, to find out what the hell was the deal with this boring, unremarkable doctor, who showed up, what, last year? And he still remained a very quiet enigma to basically the entire town. Because there had to be something, right? There just _had_ to be something under all of that. A wild side, a terrible secret. Why else would Sebastian care so damn much?

But he knew better. Better than to ask further, that is. He was intimately familiar with things being none of particular people's business, and this was definitely none of his. So he let it drop, and instead said, "Well, since I'm feeling better, I think I should go home."

"Oh? Not the festival? Tired of it already?"

More on the nose than Sebastian expected. "Uh, I-I mean..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, that was..."

Sebastian sighed. "No, you're right, actually... it's tough to be around all those people... you know?"

"Yeah. I do know," Harvey said softly. Maybe even with sympathy. "If anyone asks why you went home, you can tell them doctor's orders."

"Thanks." Before he could even turn to leave, something struck him. "Uh, hey, what do I owe you?"

"For what?"

"Treatment?"

Harvey chuckled and shook his head. "Sebastian, all I've done was put you in front of my fireplace and give you hot cocoa. I am absolutely not going to charge you for that." He returned Sebastian's scarf, dry enough now. "But take care going home, okay?"

"Yeah." He put on the scarf, and in the face of all this warmth and kindness, he had an awful urge to say or do _something_ but was totally unsure as to what. "Thank you," he ended up muttering, and then fled the room without waiting for a response.

Terrible. Unsatisfactory. Just... really bad. _Well, you'll make up for it in a few days, at least._

_Yeah. I fucking guess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE LAST THING!! if you don't have an ao3 account but you're on tumblr and you still wanna stay on top of updates, [track this tag!](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/blackboxnopen) i think you have to be logged in for it to work properly


	11. Wednesday, Winter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update hey! ok one of em's pretty short. but. double update!
> 
> also please observe [lingermylingen's sweet art of sebastian](http://lingermylingen.tumblr.com/post/147232751720) right after a rude dunking

Sebastian's alarm went off excruciatingly early. _I can't fucking believe I'm getting up this early twice in one year,_ he thought as, this time, he leaped out of bed instantly and was outside in ten minutes; there was no time to waste if he wanted to cover his ass as best as he could. After all, per tradition, Sam and Abigail would be arriving at noon, and out and about perhaps earlier, for a twenty-four hour game marathon, to celebrate his birthday.

 _Birthday... birthday! Oh shit, is that what he wanted you to come over for?_ it dawned on him as he darted down the mountain, even remembering to stay out of Shane's sight. _Ugh, no, no. That has to be just a coincidence. Don't be such a selfish dick._

 _But... well... you_ are _his friend, aren't you?_

He reached the door and tugged sharply on it, forgetting that the clinic wasn't actually supposed to be open yet. Harvey, going through a file cabinet, started and whirled around at the sound of Sebastian fucking up. But at least he didn't seem too bothered after that: he lit up upon seeing Sebastian at the door and quickly went to let him in. "Good morning! I didn't expect to see you so early."

"Yeah—sorry about the door," he muttered, still kind of embarrassed as he moved inside. "Yeah, I forgot I was gonna be busy today. Like, the entire rest of today."

"Oh, goodness! I'm sorry to have bothered you like this..."

"It's all right, but I gotta leave as soon as I can."

"Yes, of course. I just have something for you." He took out an envelope from his coat pocket and, smiling warmly, held it out. "Happy birthday, Sebastian."

Sebastian's hand automatically took it, before his brain caught up with what was going on. "Huh...? But, you already gave me something..."

"Hm? Oh, you mean the scarf? That was only presented out of concern for a fellow citizen. This is... a gift for a friend." Sebastian blinked at the envelope a couple times before he opened it. Inside was money, and a fair bit of it too. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to give you something nicer, more personal. But, well, I... managed my time poorly, and... I'm sorry."

What Sebastian intended to say was that actually, money was one of his preferred gifts, just because of how practical it was. And yeah, maybe it was a little boring, but it wasn't like he ever knew what else to ask for on his birthday, so this was perfectly fine. And he honestly wasn't expecting anything at all anyway.

Instead, when he finally opened his dumb mouth, he just mumbled like a fucking moron, "You... really meant to give me this much...?"

"Of course. It... well, it's your birthday."

God, what was he supposed to say? When was the last time he got a birthday present from someone who wasn't his mom or one of his two friends? Oh, shit... he had three friends now, didn't he? "I... um, thank you. It's, really, nice... of you."

"You're welcome, Sebastian. You really are." There was a moment's silence. "Well, I won't keep you any longer. Have a good one, all right?"

Sebastian nodded. "Thank you again," he said weakly before retreating.

Not much else happened between that and the party. Sebastian returned home unnoticed, and then, figuring he'd take so long to fall back asleep it wouldn't be worth trying, he made himself a small lake of coffee and hopped onto his computer. At some point, Robin came in to wish him a happy birthday and give him his present—more money, actually. ("Here's your sushi subsidy, dear.") He smiled and thanked her.

He also thought a lot about Harvey's present: it really was more cash than Sebastian ever would have expected. Sure, Harvey had called him a friend, but what had Sebastian done for him? All this just for some sad weirdo...

Sebastian counted the money again. Definitely more than he'd spent on his gift for Harvey. _You've gotta make up for it somehow. It'd be shitty otherwise, right?_ How, though? He was just about out of time. _He wanted to give you something more personal... Is that also what he likes?_

Right on schedule, and interrupting his reverie, there was a flurry of knocks at his door, followed by a muffled "Heeeeeyyyyy!!" _So it begins._

Upon opening the door, Sebastian was greeted by a party horn in the face from Abigail and a shower of confetti from Sam. "Happy birthday, fucker!" his friends chorused. Classic.

"Thanks, idiots," Sebastian responded stonily, as he took some confetti off his face and rubbed it onto Sam's.

As he helped in bring in their impressive haul of snacks and drinks, he couldn't fight back a yawn. "What! Sleepy already?" Sam questioned indignantly. "Damn! We haven't even started the visual novel block!"

"Great," Sebastian grunted, and then chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I just need the coffee to kick in. I'm not that tired."

* * *

Boy, he got really tired.

Even while playing Hyperaggressive Breakneck Fightgame, Sebastian could barely focus on the task in front of him. Hell, Sam was almost winning—and that just wouldn't do. But the sounds of frantic button-mashing and the overexcited announcer just weren't enough to make Sebastian snap out of it.

His thoughts drifted, without his permission. Visions of Harvey's quiet apartment crept into his mind; he found himself almost wishing he could be there instead, but he urgently shook it off. _Come on, lighten up. Your friends are here; they're doing this for you. It's... good._

"Hey, Seb! Ya with us?"

Sebastian blinked. He examined the screen: he had bested Sam in combat, thank goodness, but it seemed he also had self-destructed on the environment. Good. "Uh. Yeah. I'm fine."

"I don't know, Seb." Abigail took the controller from him. "I think it's time for a coffee break."

"An hour early?"

"Have you seen yourself? You need it."

* * *

Sebastian leaned back in the couch, scanning the cards in his hand. His concentration hadn't completely returned, but he played this particular game mostly off intuition anyway.

Unfortunately, his fatigue had been busy coming up with new and exciting ways to screw him over. He opened his mouth to sigh, and instead what came out was, "You ever think about bringing anyone else into our group?"

Sam and Abigail looked at him, then at each other, then back at him, shaking their heads. Abigail said, "I mean, we're all together 'cause we're weirdos and misfits, right?"

"Sam could probably re-integrate into society if he really wanted to," Sebastian tried to quip, fighting his disappointment.

"I can't believe you'd say that about me," groaned Sam, before taking a swig of beer. "So... what, did you have someone in mind?"

"Dunno." He paused to consider the situation, and promptly hurled himself into the jaws of hell. "Maybe that doctor."

Abigail stared blankly. Sam boggled in horror and disgust.

"Wow, Seb." Abigail was the first to recover. "You've really outdone yourself with this irony shit."

Sam burst out laughing, a little too loudly. "Yeah! Nice one, buddy!!"

"Y... yeah. Got you guys good." Sebastian chugged the rest of his disgusting soda and reached for another cookie. "So Sam, you going or what?"

* * *

"Did he fall asleep?"

"Looks like it."

"Okay... what the hell are you doing?"

Sam chuckled, perhaps a bit shakily. "Just getting the confetti outta his hair."

"Ummm. Why?"

"Well... I put it there, didn't I?"

"I can't believe it. Sam actually being responsible? Here, before my very eyes?"

"Hey now, I'm _plenty_ responsible."

"Responsible for the end times, more like." Visibly struggling, Sebastian lifted his head and squinted grumpily at Sam.

"... You wanna just call it, Seb?" asked Abigail, after she finished giggling.

"No. I'm good. That power nap was extremely—" Yawn... "—refreshing."

"Good! 'Cause we haven't even started the romhacks yet!!" hollered Sam.

"I'm fucking going back to sleep."

"Hey!"

* * *

Right after the party concluded and he said goodbye to his friends, Sebastian collapsed onto his bed, exceedingly thankful he didn't have to go anywhere or talk to anyone for at least a couple days, until he had to deliver Harvey's birthday gift.

But even then, given a time like this and feelings like these... there was probably no one else he'd rather see.


	12. Sunday, Winter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! it's a double update today. didja read chapter 11

At the chime of the little bell, Harvey looked up from his work to see the door swing open and Sebastian walk in, clutching a nondescript brown box.

"Good morning, Sebastian." Harvey smiled; it always was a treat to see him.

Sebastian nodded nervously, avoiding eye contact more than usual. "This... i-it's yours." He set the package on the front desk and hovered for just a moment. "Well, bye."

"Take care," called Harvey as Sebastian hustled out the clinic.

 _Now what's this about?_ he mused as he lifted the box, which had some heft to it. It was incredibly tempting to open it now; he couldn't remember the last time he had received a package that wasn't some sort of work-related shipment. _Well, no morning appointments today... and a quick peek won't take very long..._

He didn't know what to expect in the slightest as he brought it to his office and took a box cutter to it, but certainly somewhere in the bottom fifth of the list would have been the two bags of coffee beans and the small grinder he saw when the box was opened. _What...?_ Bewildered, he took out a bag and examined it; it was the good stuff, too. _For... for me?_ At the bottom of the box was a folded sheet of paper, and, seeking some kind of explanation, he pulled it out. It was a letter.

_Hey._

_I got you something. Figured I better start being a friend too._

_To be honest, I wasn't even going to write this at first but I don't know. I just feel dumb about shoving a box of burnt beans at you and calling it a day._

_So yeah. I heard you like coffee. I heard it from you, actually. So I wasn't creeping or anything. I went to this cafe in the city and it's pretty good. A lot of people come by but it still feels quiet & relaxed somehow. I don't know how much time you have off but I think you'd like it maybe._

(Here was inserted a photo of the storefront, strikingly quaint in the middle of the city.)

_The coffee's really good too. Well you probably know more about coffee than I do, so don't listen to me. But look, I have loads of experience with cinnamon buns, and I'll tell you: This place's buns? Supreme. I'd come here just for the buns. Yeah, they're shit for your health, but sometimes you got to enjoy yourself. That's just my opinion though._

(Here, a photo of Sebastian, stoically throwing a peace sign up, his coffee and cinnamon bun on the table. The caption: _I would've bought you a bun too but this was like two weeks ago & it would not have kept. Sorry._)

_So there's one thing I want to say that I wouldn't have the guts to tell you in person because I suck. Thanks for being so kind to me. I haven't made a new friend in a really long time. I didn't think I needed one but you changed my mind._

_Okay. I guess that's all for now. Happy birthday. See you soon._

_Sebastian_

The letter fell to the desk as Harvey tried to wipe at his wet eyes. _He remembered._ He sighed and took off his glasses. _And he really cares._ Cared enough to want to get him something for his birthday, to remember a tiny detail about his favorite drink he mentioned in passing weeks ago. _He really does want to be my friend._

He clutched the bag to his chest and—it was so silly, but he just couldn't stop smiling. His birthdays for many years had passed by rather tepidly, and honestly this one wasn't an exception: all that happened was he received a gift with no fanfare at all. Yet today his heart was soaring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "hang on," you might say, "i thought dated chapters were told exclusively from sebastian's point of view." well u know what. maybe i just wanted to write a dad getting a feel. can ya blame me "yeah" oh


	13. Wednesday, Winter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [more](http://lingermylingen.tumblr.com/post/147583664650) [quality](http://lingermylingen.tumblr.com/post/147587446765) [content](https://brainshock-alpha.tumblr.com/post/147735904928/harvey-was-bothered-and-if-he-was-honest-his) produced by lingermylingen! WOWZA
> 
> spoiler warning: this chapter is based on sebastian's four-heart event!

Sebastian was sort of a nervous wreck since Harvey's birthday.

 _He_ had _to have liked it. Right?_ he must have thought at least five hundred times. _He said he loves coffee. Or, wait, did I just imagine that? Shit. Oh my god, is coffee even real? No, no, the coffee's fine, stupid. That letter, though... fuck my life. What a terrible idea. He probably thinks I'm a moron or a huge fucking creep. Oh god. Shit._

But there was no way Sebastian could be sure unless he saw Harvey. Such was his dilemma, and normally it would have paralyzed him with indecision for probably another entire season.

Except in the early, early morning of Winter 17, Sebastian's body pulled that timeless prank on him, in which it decided to jolt wide awake after approximately two hours of sleep and then outright refuse to go the fuck back to sleep. For once in his life, this may have worked to his advantage: since he, and by extension his emotions, was worn out by an almost completely sleepless night, he had much less of a problem with once more wandering into town an hour before the clinic officially opened.

He reached the door just as Harvey reached the front desk, and the doctor never looked happier to see Sebastian, and he was already pretty darn pleased those previous times. "Sebastian!" he exclaimed, once the door was open. It seemed he was about to reach for Sebastian with both arms, but he remembered in time who he was talking to, and instead hurried inside. He remained in high spirits: "I'm so glad you're here. I've just finished making some of your coffee. Come upstairs; I insist that you have some with me!"

Coffee with Harvey on a winter morning: if that didn't sound like the good shit right about now. Still, Sebastian always had to be sure it was really, truly okay that something nice could happen to him. "Oh... you have the time?"

"For a coffee break? Always," chuckled Harvey. Sebastian smiled too; it was a very familiar sentiment.

The aroma of some goodass coffee filled Harvey's apartment. They sat down, Harvey on the couch and Sebastian insulated in the armchair again, just enjoying their beverages and each others' company.

"Hey, Sebastian..." Harvey was the first to speak again, naturally. "There's something I've wondered for a while. Are you the one who rides that motorcycle."

"Yeah." Sebastian took a longer sip and scratched his neck. He mumbled awkwardly, "Sorry, does it bother you... I know it's loud as hell."

"No, not at all! I'm genuinely just curious. It's cool!"

"Oh, okay." _He thinks it's cool... never would've guessed._ "How'd you know it was me?"

"Well, who else could it have been?" laughed Harvey gently.

"Abigail? Maybe Sam? They're plausible, right?"

"Ah, yes, you're right. I'm sorry for assuming so casually." He looked down at his mug, and his voice softened. "I suppose... for some reason... I just thought of you first."

Before Sebastian could reply, or even fully process what had just been said, Harvey rushed to keep talking. "S-so, where do you usually go on your motorcycle?"

Well, if Harvey wanted to drop it—Sebastian of all people would respect that. "Just the city."

"That's a long drive, isn't it?"

"Not long enough," said Sebastian, too tired to consider the consequences of his words. As always, he instantly regretted allowing even a hint of his deep-seated discontent surface.

But Harvey only considered this statement thoughtfully, and mused, "Yes, it must feel... freeing. Is that correct?"

Sebastian nodded, relieved. Yes, now he remembered this wasn't the first time he had been overly real with Harvey. He took a deep breath and found himself, for the first time, confessing out loud, "You know... one day, I'll have the money to leave for good. Just me and my bike, and wherever."

Harvey was quiet for a moment, and then he smiled, small and pensive. "I hope you can bear it here until then."

He knew Harvey meant well, and he didn't begrudge him at all. It was just that escaping was a more emotionally complicated matter than he had let on, and somehow, despite the same old shit of Pelican Town wearing him out a little more each day, it didn't seem to get any simpler to think about.

So he changed the subject to the first thing he could think of. "Maybe I'll let you ride sometime, if you want."

"Really?" Sebastian could swear he saw just the quickest flash of excitement on Harvey's face. "Well... I'm kind of scared, to tell the truth..."

"Don't worry. I'd make sure you were safe." He finished his coffee and set his mug down.

"Well, if you would do that, then..." Harvey picked up the empty mugs and took them to the kitchen as he talked. "And it _is_ an otherwise appealing offer. I'll think about it."

"Yeah." Sebastian stood up, quite reluctantly, at Harvey's return. "So, going back to work now?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." But Harvey didn't go to the door as Sebastian expected. Instead, he just stood, nervously, and spoke again, "Sebastian, maybe this will sound silly, but, uh... you're welcome to visit me anytime. And... when I'm working, um, if you ever just want to hang out in my apartment, that's fine with me."

 _What?_ "Are... are you really sure?"

"Yeah. In fact, feel free to stay now."

 _... What?_ "W-well... I should also work today." _Oh, for fuck's—you moron, it was_ right there. "But...! Next time, I'll bring my laptop or something." _Fine. Nice save._

"That's a good idea. And you can make yourself some coffee too."

"Oh. Nice. Thanks."

It really did sound nice; Sebastian smiled a little. And then, for some reason ( _God, how fucking tired did I have to be?_ he thought when he looked back on it), the next thing he said was, "Hey, were you... when I came in, were you going for a hug?"

Harvey chuckled sheepishly. "Oh, goodness, I'm sorry, I—" Sebastian raised his arms into what he hoped was a not wholly unwelcoming stance. "... Really? Are you certain?"

"Yeah, why not. We're friends, right."

So, with a great deal of caution, Harvey stepped closer and placed his arms loosely around Sebastian, and Sebastian took a very noticeable amount of time before he realized he should maybe do something with his own arms in turn.

Wow, he probably should have considered this proposal for at least longer than the tenth of a second that he had. As far as he could remember, he had never before initiated a hug with anyone who wasn't his mom, and even that was arguable. By the time they let go, Sebastian was actually feeling a little dizzy, and not just from exhaustion... but probably not in a bad way?

Harvey beamed down at him, which didn't help. "Thank you so much for the coffee. It was a wonderful gift."

"No problem... I'm glad you liked it." Sebastian rubbed his head. He was pretty sure he needed to lie down. "All right, see you later."

"I look forward to it."

So Sebastian went home and tumbled into bed and immediately passed out. Faint visions of fresh coffee and model airplanes and open windows played in his head. Five hours later, he woke up and, feeling weirdly disappointed with his surroundings, decided to go back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the foreseeable future, updates are probably going to take longer than usual... sorry y'all!! i really, _really_ need to sort out what's going to happen after this point. im unimaginably glad you're enjoying my silly fic so far and i hope it only gets better from here!!!


	14. Interludes 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not fanart specifically for the fic (at least, anything that's happened yet _heh_ ), but these [cute](http://lingermylingen.tumblr.com/post/148822797580) [smooches](http://lingermylingen.tumblr.com/post/148824417850) drawn by lingermylingen are for sure worth viewing anyway :v
> 
> EDIT 9/8: added a tiny, tiny scene to this chapter. next chapters still gonna be a couple more weeks or so......

"So, Seb," began Sam, strumming idly on his guitar.

"Yeah."

"Isn't it about time you asked out Abby?"

Sebastian's eyes flicked from his laptop screen over at Sam, to try to get a read on his expression. Good god, he was serious. "What?"

"Yeah. I mean, you two've been dancing around each other for ages—"

"What are you talking about? Are we inhabiting the same reality right now?"

Sam paused his playing just to laugh. "Just trying to help out my main dude."

"Um..." Sebastian shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "... Thanks. But I'm not looking for that right now."

"Seb, you've been saying that for... for as long as we've known each other."

"So? It's been true this entire time."

"But you keep saying 'right now'," his voice trailed off—then picked back up a second later, interrupting a chord. "Hey, if you don't feel it, you can tell me, you know?"

"Sam..." Sebastian suppressed most of his sigh. "Let's just get lunch."

"Sure thing, dude."

* * *

It wasn't often these days that Harvey had trouble focusing on his work; he had done just about all he could to mitigate that. Still, some days were just going to be... less than great.

He sighed and leaned back into his chair, eyes straying from the monitor, fingers squeezing the fidget ball a bit harder. What a slow, slow day. Usually he loved peace and quiet, but too much itched at his brain and weighed down his heart.

His eyes shot open—goodness, he hadn't even noticed they'd closed—when he heard the door swinging open and jingling the little bell. He turned his head to see Sebastian arriving, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. Harvey jumped to his feet, straightening his tie, hoping fervently Sebastian didn't see him all slumped and listless. "Hello, Sebastian."

"Hey."

"Going upstairs?"

"Mm-hmm."

"All right, then." Harvey smiled; Sebastian hardly ever looked at him long enough to see him smiling, but he did it anyway. He couldn't help it. "Well... Oh! Let me show you how to operate the fireplace. I'm sure it's a bit chilly up there."

"Oh... you don't, have..."

"To tell you the truth, Sebastian... I was absolutely _dying_ for a distraction when you came in. Please, allow me"

Now Sebastian was grinning too.

In some time, Harvey was back at his computer, having situated his friend in front of the blazing fireplace. _Friend..._ He was still smiling. _It's nice to have a friend in town._

His work came a little easier to him the rest of the day.

* * *

As a matter of fact, the next time his concentration broke was a few hours later, when Sebastian was leaving.

"Oh! Heading out?"

"Uh-huh."

"Did you put out the fire?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, thank you." He wished he could say more, talk with his friend longer, but he supposed that Sebastian would rather not be kept. "Well... goodbye, Sebastian."

"Later, Harvey." He started for the door.

"Oh...!" Sebastian whirled around, startled and concerned. "Uh, it's just, you _do_ know my name," Harvey said quickly. "I was starting to wonder how I could slip it into casual conversation."

Sebastian didn't seem to be reassured. "Oh... um... sorry. I just..."

"No, it's all right! Really." Once again, there was the impulse to pat his shoulder; he reached out, too obviously—no way he could pretend it was some other gesture now. _Well... if Sebastian could initiate a hug, then maybe..._ "Er, may I?"

"... Okay."

So Harvey bestowed a friendly pat, to which Sebastian's reaction seemed indifferent (a definite improvement over the worry he showed a moment ago). "I know names can be tough." Sebastian nodded. "Take care, okay?"

He nodded again. "Thanks..." And it seemed as if he was going to say something more, but instead he turned and left.

* * *

_Harvey._

Where'd that come from?

Well, he had probably always known Harvey's name; everyone knew the only doctor in town. But until that moment, had he ever spoken it, or even thought it?

_Doctor Harvey._

It was an okay name, he guessed. He just wished it would leave him alone again.

* * *

Even outside his mind he wasn't safe.

All he wanted was a pizza. He probably should have waited in his room for Maru and Robin to finish talking before he ventured to the kitchen, but he really wanted that pizza. And what he overheard, as he turned to make his way back downstairs, made him halt in his tracks and his blood run cold.

"Dr. Harvey told me the funniest thing the other day!"

Indignation welled up inside him when he heard the laughter down the hall; if he had also grabbed a soda, he might have had the impulse to crush it in his hand. _What the fuck? Who the hell does she think she is?_ Then, just as quickly, reason returned to him. _... His employee, you fucking baby. God._

But even then, as he opened the door to his room, he couldn't help but think, _Wonder if they're... friends..._

* * *

_Harvey._

It didn't mean anything, did it?

No, of course not. Sebastian had thrown it out so casually, he might not have known he'd done it if Harvey hadn't said something.

_So stop dwelling on it,_ Harvey exhorted himself.

But he could not.


End file.
